All Relationships are Not Created Equal

“…where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” II Corinthians 3:17b


If a relationship is healthy, there is trust, and because of trust, there is liberty. When I trust you, I don’t feel the need to control you. Also, if our relationship is healthy, then it is full of life, and life produces what is good. It produces peace and security, blessing and grace, joy and favor, and all things good. In a healthy relationship, love grows, getting better and better as the years go by.


If a relationship is unhealthy, there is doubt, suspicion and fear. Where there is no trust, liberty is hard to extend. If a person is not trusted, the other person will feel the need to set rules for the other person. Rules are an attempt to control the other person, to keep them bound to the relationship. Freedom is lost, and one person becomes a slave to the other. An unhealthy relationship lacks the fullness of life, and the lack of life produces unhealthy fruit. It produces fear and insecurity, lack and troubles, unhappiness and limitations. In an unhealthy relationship, instead of growing, love begins to wane. The person who is controlling has no confidence or peace in the relationship. The person being controlled feels bound, which could lead to resentment, secret keeping, and fear of being found out. 


In our relationship with God, the Holy Spirit transforms our spirit from death to life. Our relationship is based on faith and grace, not rules and control. There is freedom to fully know God and for God to know us. The fear factor is removed. We have liberty with God and liberty with one another. We are to use that liberty to love one another, assuring each other of our love and trust.


Relationships need continual maintenance in order to remain healthy and to grow. In our marriage, our friendships, our families, and all relationships, when we put forth the effort, we can prune the areas that need to be corrected and fertilize the areas that we want to grow. With the help of the Holy Spirit, are relationships can become healthy and stay healthy, producing life and freedom!


Application: Unhealthy relationships can cause deep emotional pain. If that relationship is not restored, continual pain can lead to an emotional numbness. A portion of your heart hardens, protecting you from further damage. Give it to God. Follow His direction for the relationship. Let Him lead you to wholeness and liberty. He will do it!

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